64th UP nat'l writer's workshop

since i was doing my MA in creative writing at UP anyway, i thought why not try and see if some of the stuff i'd written for class could get me into one of the most prestigious writing workshops in the country?

only problem was, i got in.

 

 

 

our venue was the baden-powell international makiling, a short drive up into the mountains from UP los banos. it's the boy scout national headquarters, i think. during out stay there was always some sort of camping activity going on in the adjacent field just to the right of the above photo. 

to an uninitiated fellow ("fellow" is what  they call the people whose work is being read. personally i don't consider myself a fellow, i'm more of a dude) like me, the workshop felt like a rigorous weeklong training camp for the criticism part of your brain. i spent all night reading and all day trying to think up something helpful and/or clever to say about what i'd read the night before. it didn't always work. there were some stories i just couldn't grok or i was too unfamiliar with the writing style/tradition the writer was working in to offer any relevant feedback. and also i'm useless with poetry more complex than robert frost.

there was a jokey competition to see who could get on the most number of "quote cards" posted to the workshop's social media. i got like one or two. 

i'd submitted two short stories: a "tokhang meets pokemon go" one titled "Traqr," which was the basis for the ASO graphic novel i'm working on with aj bernardo, and another one titled "malacanang dwende tells all," a humorous take on the urban legend of imelda marcos' magical pet.

on my entry form i'd misuderstood the section named "project description," and merely... described my project. the result didn't look very different from the preceding paragraph.

as the sessions got underway, i realized with horror that my fellow fellows had put as much, if not more, effort into their project descriptions (and also their "about me" sections, aka their "poetics") as into their submitted works. worse, the panelists also relied on those sections to gauge our submissions. so i'd inadvertently given everyone the message that i wanted my work to speak for itself (which was true) and furthermore that i lacked seriousness (also true.) 

 

the panelist assigned to me was jun cruz reyes, who was very kind and open-minded and generous with advice, and really made me feel like i was in good hands. i think he sensed my impostor syndrome and went out of his way to reassure me.

 i'll never forget something he told the assembly on the first day. it went something like, "kayo (meaning us fellows) and papatay sa amin (the panelists, who included fellow legends like butch dalisay, jing pantoja-hidalgo and rolando tolentino). tutulungan namin kayo."

 

 another thing i'll always remember happened while i was having a conversation with a fellow near the foot of a stairwell:

"so yeah, he's a a pervert. a real DOM. just an awful, awful person."

another fellow coming down the stairs just then overheard us and, in my memory, froze in place, gave us a cheeky look, started walking backwards toward us, and gave us another look like, "...aaand?"

i had to explain to him that i was referring to the dwende character in my story.

 

 

so what was the overall experience like?

do people still say "paradigm shift?"

one of the things about coming up in the indie circuit is that i never really had to think about anything other than what i wanted to write and what my readers want to read. this workshop showed me that like it or not, i'm part of something bigger, and that maybe i have responsibilities there too.

did i get beat up a little? yeah, but you don't go to workshops for praise. you want to find your blind spots and weaknesses. and then at the end you do a little murder mystery skit and go home with a paper certificate and a feeling like the road is far and wide before you.